God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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