u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
