At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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