whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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