He told me they were just razor bumps!
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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