Dual....:-)
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
