Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
