so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
