I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Farmville is her only friend.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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