I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
