HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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