he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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