I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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