I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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