you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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