I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again