Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Why do girls always cry at the bar?

  (586): View more from Michigan

  What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): Why do girls always cry at the bar? (586): What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night? (586): Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar? http://tfl.nu/joll
  Replies (1) Good night (874) Bad night (997)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye. http://tfl.nu/qhpq
  Replies (16) Good night (699) Bad night (3788)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray http://tfl.nu/ggtu
  Replies (7) Good night (3034) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  This bar receipt from last night makes no sense

  (573): View more from Missouri

  You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I wish that would've worked

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): This bar receipt from last night makes no sense (573): You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total (870): I wish that would've worked http://tfl.nu/u8a6
  Replies (24) Good night (3413) Bad night (763)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt. http://tfl.nu/52xp
  Replies (12) Good night (680) Bad night (3004)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair. http://tfl.nu/v80o
  Replies (25) Good night (1340) Bad night (7142)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order. http://tfl.nu/ghcj
  Replies (11) Good night (911) Bad night (3329)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet. http://tfl.nu/ajf1
  Replies (23) Good night (7555) Bad night (1068)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container.... http://tfl.nu/xfht
  Replies (16) Good night (1660) Bad night (3372)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila http://tfl.nu/mhdt
  Replies (8) Good night (1895) Bad night (2524)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs. http://tfl.nu/4vu7
  Replies (16) Good night (2515) Bad night (807)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF? http://tfl.nu/wyh2
  Replies (1) Good night (1207) Bad night (457)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time. http://tfl.nu/tvg3
  Replies (7) Good night (1227) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (318): He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car." http://tfl.nu/xfdu
  Replies (5) Good night (606) Bad night (832)
• Favorite

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+27): Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation http://tfl.nu/ycpp
  Replies (9) Good night (723) Bad night (607)

Randomize