Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(870): View more from Arkansas

This bar receipt from last night makes no sense

(573): View more from Missouri

You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total

(870): View more from Arkansas

I wish that would've worked

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(870): This bar receipt from last night makes no sense (573): You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total (870): I wish that would've worked http://tfl.nu/u8a6

Replies (24) Good night (3492) Bad night (820)
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(305): View more from Florida

If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there

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(305): If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there http://tfl.nu/dyet

Replies (14) Good night (5761) Bad night (716)
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(416): View more from Ontario

What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?

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(416): What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal? http://tfl.nu/1tlo

Replies (13) Good night (4110) Bad night (1579)
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(702): View more from Nevada

She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew

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(702): She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew http://tfl.nu/fmsn

Replies (16) Good night (7493) Bad night (1081)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.

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(918): It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever. http://tfl.nu/0i0j

Replies (31) Good night (1008) Bad night (6021)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt

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(814): I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt http://tfl.nu/8loq

Replies (8) Good night (739) Bad night (2341)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.

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(859): if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it. http://tfl.nu/6uvx

Replies (10) Good night (2889) Bad night (725)
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(813): View more from Florida

For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.

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(813): For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club. http://tfl.nu/n6ph

Replies (18) Good night (737) Bad night (1637)
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(850): View more from Florida

Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model

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(850): Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model http://tfl.nu/o9d2

Replies (5) Good night (1692) Bad night (708)
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.

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(506): I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside. http://tfl.nu/nmit

Replies (2) Good night (517) Bad night (974)
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(319): View more from Iowa

4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW

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(319): 4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW http://tfl.nu/z9cc

Replies (9) Good night (1912) Bad night (598)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.

(1-773): View more from Illinois

Can you see in?

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(773): Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter. (1-773): Can you see in? http://tfl.nu/hc5g

Replies (1) Good night (467) Bad night (664)
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(914): View more from New York

It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.

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(914): It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back. http://tfl.nu/4sgh

Replies (1) Good night (283) Bad night (707)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.

(778): View more from British Columbia

Why so serious bruh

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(604): In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address. (778): Why so serious bruh http://tfl.nu/48qn

Replies (1) Good night (466) Bad night (627)
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(510): View more from California

"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.

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(510): "Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me. http://tfl.nu/442l

Replies (0) Good night (385) Bad night (173)

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