Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop