You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
