Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
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It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
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I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?