my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
