By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
