mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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