i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Randomize
