Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
