nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
