I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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