I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
