THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
