Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I looked at my own cervix.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
