Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
