just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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