it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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