I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
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