The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
