my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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