She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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