Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
