My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
