just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
