i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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