i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
