the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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