if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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