Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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