he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
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You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
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We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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