A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
