So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
