And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I have feelings that need drinking.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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