He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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