have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
So vagazzling was a success
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
