What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
