you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
