Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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