You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
