You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
