nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.