I want to have your abortion
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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