just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
