that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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