do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize