Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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