Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
