I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
